Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn`t look that much different from my actual head.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
I`d love to drown my problems... I just can`t get my spouse to go swimming!
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.