Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I’m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye