Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
No matter how compelling and convincing the other person’s argument is, you can always win a debate by adding “yeah, but still” at the end.