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condoms prevent minivans
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
I followed my heart...now I`m at the liqour store
"May the 4th" be with you!
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
Learn a lesson from your dog. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
Trust me, I am a liar.
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?