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Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
If your phone doesn´t ring it´s me.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.