Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I`m checking Facebook and not taking pictures.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
I don’t know how Godzilla doesn’t hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece.
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
It was all so different before everything changed.
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
"This is groundbreaking stuff." - Inventor of the shovel