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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
My credit score is just a picture of me crying in the front yard of a nice house.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
Tieam... problem solved
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.