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Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Sometimes I order Domino`s but give them Pizza Hut`s address. And when they show up and start fighting, I just wait with my mouth open.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
I’m tired of things costing money.
Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I’d like to read a medication bottle that says “May Cause Multiple Orgasms”
At this point in life, my greatest chance of having a threesome will be sex with a schizophrenic.
I followed my heart...Now I`m at the liquor store.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
School was so much easier when 2 plus 2 equaled 4 instead of "X." Whoever decided to involve the alphabet in math deserves a solid punch to the face.
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.