Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I used to be in a band called β€˜Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters on poles.
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
The responsibility of taking out the trash should be left to the person who runs out of ways to fit more trash in the bag.
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...