Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature`s way of getting you to slap yourself.
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.