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Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that`s the last thing I need.
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
Me: My bed is so warm and cosy. I never want to leave. Bladder: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!