Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish my mind had a delete button.
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I wish I had a friend like me
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
"That`s close enough..." ~Government worker
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.