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All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.