Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
"Wow, you look good today!” is not a compliment if it comes with a genuinely surprised look.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
I think that work and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.