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I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
about love
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
If the liquor store didn`t want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
The light does go out in the fridge ... Now I have to wait for someone to let me out.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.