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Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
Targeted ads are trying to sell me a new mattress nowadays. With how much Google knows about me you`d think they`d cap themselves at something like $5 footlongs or stationary.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!