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Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Found out today you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at the waffle house... just trying to help.
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
How I talk: 25% swearing, 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?