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Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
Pro tip: Don`t moan when getting a pat down at airport security
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.