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I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.