Daily Silly Status

I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"

One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille

"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer

A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?

Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"

*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*

They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.

I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.

God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...

ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable

I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.

I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon

Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.

I was really pissed at my girlfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered she`s imaginary. So I`m good.

A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.