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On my tombstone I want it to say: ‘I didn’t forward the text message to 15 friends.” ;)
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
10 years from now: “Dad, how did you meet mom? Well, your mom had the hottest profile pic…so I had to friend request that.”
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
Ways to die: Steal my food.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
Dear Toilet Paper Makers, We`ve all unexpectedly run out at some point. Please make the tube in the center softer. Thank you...
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
I know u r but what am I ?
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.