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I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting Eye of the Tiger for motivation.
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.