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When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
My girlfriend would be so mad if he found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
I`m thankful for pizza and burgers... and ice cream and bacon and fries and... F*ck it, I`m thankful for food. I love you, food.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.