Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it requires pants, its not happening today.
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
I don’t understand how my house gets so messy when I literally sit in one spot with my phone all day.
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.