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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
These kids next door to me need to quit yelling. I`m about to wake up their mom and send her back over there.
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked , "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "kindergarten".
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
My memory foam has amnesia
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?