Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
I woke up this morning with a glass of water on my bedside table with a note saying “for hungover me” I drank it and it was vodka. Drunk me can be such an asshole!
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I`m gonna be pretty good at it.
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
I’d slap you but I’m pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
I`m out like a fat kid playing dodge ball..
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.