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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
"Please take a seat" was a bad introduction for a Kleptomaniacs` Anonymous meeting.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
Two things everybody wants: 1) Lose weight. 2) Eat.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.