Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.