Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
You can tell a lot from a woman by her hands. For instance, if they`re placed around your throat she`s probably slightly upset.
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
My wife woke up with a HUGE smile on her face this morning. I love sharpies.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
Every time I almost think humanity will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 20 minutes.
I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I`m bored.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.