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The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
I`d love to have a sex change. Preferably from `none` to `absolutely sh!tloads`.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..