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There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
Me putting up with you is your Christmas present.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
It’s not pretty being easy.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?