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Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.