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I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
Please pay me in cash. I`m not trying to hide money from the IRS, I`m trying to hide it from the MRS.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
oh look at the time, it`s time to not care
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.
I wish all my freckles would just mix into a tan.