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Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...