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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... IΒ΄m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be β€œdoesn’t know how to follow directions.”
I’m great at remembering names. I just don’t remember which one’s yours.
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
β€œThat’s funny” is something I say when I can’t even fake a laugh.
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!