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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “doesn’t know how to follow directions.”
I’m great at remembering names. I just don’t remember which one’s yours.
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
“That’s funny” is something I say when I can’t even fake a laugh.
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!