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There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
Why can’t the shower just naturally keep itself clean?
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
Well, I`m going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it.
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.