Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
If a 747 can carry a f*cking space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bullsh!t on an overweight baggage charge.
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.