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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
I fell off the wagon because I was too drunk to keep my balance
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
Adding β€œand sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: β€œI was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.