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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
Iβm not shy, Iβm holding back my awesomeness, so I donβt intimidate you.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
I fell off the wagon because I was too drunk to keep my balance
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. Iβm gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
Itβs that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
Adding βand sh!tβ at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: βI was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.β
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.