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When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
Bending over ... preparing to do my taxes.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
I wasn`t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I really feel about you!
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me