Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
Don`t act like your not impressed.
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
I`m gonna hang a Batman costume in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?