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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I`m sure you already know, have a great time!
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.