Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
Your duty as a friend is to LIKE my Facebook posts even if they suck.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.