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If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
When I was a boy, Mom would send me down to the corner store with $1 and I would get 5 bags of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, some cheese and 6 eggs. You can`t do that now, to many damn security cameras!
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!