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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
drink beer ?? save water
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.