Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
FACT: 99.7% of guys named "Dan" are not actually "The Man".
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
Serving size ?? LMAO
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
My ex-wifes facebook status said "I`m depressed and on the edge"... So I poked her!
I called McDonald`s to make a reservation for Valentine`s Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.