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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
Has anyone seen where I put my organizational skills?
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
I finished your laundry, the ashes are in the fireplace.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.