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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
My wife is pissed at me again...appearently I am breathing wrong.
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.