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If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one...
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling