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We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
It`s so cold out, I just seen a woman in 2 pairs of pajamas at Walmart...
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
Don`t ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."