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Stop everything you’re doing. Think about me. You’re welcome.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you and your motivational crap is far away
If there`s one thing I`ve learnt in life it`s to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
Not many people can say their Batman wallet matches their underwear like I can.
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
Getting told I can`t do something gives me all the motivation I need to get things done.