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Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
The neighbor`s cat seems to think my flower bed is his litter box. I`ll fix that furry little bugger. I mixed 44 packages of pop rocks into the soil. And now we wait....
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)