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Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
Someone just told me to "Have a good morning". What about the rest of my day mother f*cker?
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
I`ve just realised that I`ve got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
I tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage