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The only time I want to hear about your baby is when you tell me it ain`t mine.
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Whenever I see someone in a Smart Car, I expect to see a kid with a remote control nearby.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you`re talking about BABIES?
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.