Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.