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My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
BREAKING NEWS: New $100 bills start circulating yesterday. I wish this affected my life in any way.
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old.