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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
I don`t care if you`re here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house.
The neighbor`s cat seems to think my flower bed is his litter box. I`ll fix that furry little bugger. I mixed 44 packages of pop rocks into the soil. And now we wait....
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.