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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I`m affordable" instead of "I`m adorable".
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
My favorite beer is an open one.
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie