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Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
Stages of Drunk: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don`t wake up the cows.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.