Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.