Daily Silly Status

Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.

It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it

I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.

Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......

I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.

I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.

This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel

Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.

Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.

So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?

Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.

You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.

If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.

Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.

If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.