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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
I`m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.