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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
Why isn`t cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.