Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we`ll call you a liar." -insurance
That horrible feeling you get when you`re not asleep anymore.
Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
This status is mine....I licked it.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
If there`s no god then how do you explain yoga pants?
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.