Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
5 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.
Don`t pick on Aquaman! The crime rate underwater is pretty damn low the last time I checked.
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.