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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you’re a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
I`m gonna hang a Batman costume in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said "seriously?" after a comment you made during an argument.
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”