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Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
I kind of feel like getting some work done today, so I’m just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
When your boss says "You need help", he never means a hitman.
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup, and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me