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The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
Some people just need to be clothes lined
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!