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Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
I have Beer.
Has anyone seen where I put my organizational skills?
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
The older I get, the more I sympathize with Squidward`s anger.
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at work.