Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
Helpful Tip : The police never think it`s as funny as you do.
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I don’t even know what that means, but now I’m hungry.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.